This Christmas (The Murder)

The wintry wind whooshed whirled whipped thru the air like it was a cracking whip! Though the Vaseline was heavily placed on, it did not stop the cracking and bleeding of my lip! And I had on special, hiking boots that I hope would keep me from falling and incurring a fatal slip. Fear fate failing and would not be on my side, as I felt both sides of my snowsuit begin to rip!

Elves were asleep all over the workshop; it was obvious they had partied to hard. This scene reassured me that my mission’s fruition was in the cards. It figures; there he was drinking E&J Brandy and eating a giant ham that was covered with pineapples and lard. He looked up and saw me, although he could not respond when the first ten bullets hit his fat carcass hard!

Fired fifteen fast times more, wiped the gun, tossed it, then ran without breath or pause. Because of all the Christmases when I didn’t get what I wanted, I went to the North Pole and murdered Santa Claus!

 - by the Greatest Poet Alive